When I was 16 I weighed 190lbs, and that was high for me. I had always been bigger, but at that time I had felt really big. So I talked to my mom, and her and I joined weight watchers. I lost 30lbs, which brought me to 160lbs, that is the smallest
t I ever remember being. I've never felt so good in my entire life. Somehow I slowly gained it all back and then I just added another 60lbs on top of that, hey why not. Ever since then I have never been able to get back into the weight loss mode.
I've been letting food take control over my life for so many years. I don't drink, but I can imagine that my food addiction feels the same way an alcoholics addiction to alcohol must feel. You can't stop thinking about it until you do it. I don't know what is happening, but the last last few days I have just began feeling hopeful again. I think that I may be slowly returning to weight loss mode. Well I guess whether I am or not makes no difference because I am going to have to get into weight loss mode come 22 days from now on surgery day! It's taking a lot of convincing myself that I can do this. I keep failing because I don't think I can. I think a lot of us feel this way. I think maybe for some time instead of trying to diet, we should all try and change our mindset. I know that is what I am going to be doing.
So I am back from my mini vaca over Memorial Day weekend. My husband and I had a blast! The only thing I have come to not like about going away, is that if you are staying in just a hotel room, you have to eat out! I came home feeling like crap from all the junk in the food prepared by restaurants. Having said that, I'm putting that behind me, and focusing on my liquid diet for the next 2 weeks! I see my surgeon, 2 weeks from today and I have to have lost 10lbs by then. I'm afraid he may postpone the surgery if I don't. So here it goes...
Day one, I've already had 2 carnation drinks...I know they aren't the best ones but I can't find any other I can tolerate so that is what I am doing. Other than that I am drinking lots of decaf green tea and water. I won't lie I am hungry but everytime I think about eating I come on here and or I go lapbandtalk and chit chat in the chat room to get my mind off of eating and re focus. Well that is really all I have for today....nothing too exciting, but I wanted to share a little something with you I read in a magazine...........SERVES YOU RIGHT
Save the container from your next
frozen dinner. Then, when you dish out
a homemade meal, use the divided
plastic tray as a guide for what a serving
size should be!
So I got to Lahey at noon today, they registered me, and then sent me to get blood work. I am such a baby when it comes to needles, I couldn't watch the whole time and my eyes started to water. You know I might have had a legit reason to be teary eyed this time, they took 13 viles of blood! I was so sick to my stomach after that, they gave me some apple juice and it seemed to help a bit. Then I went to the Pre-op center, they checked all my vitals and they did another EKG and then I went and sat down with a nurse who asked me a ton of questions, primarily about my medical history. After that I had to go to General Surgery to see a Nurse Practitioner, who basically says, "Yes you are healthy enough to have this surgery". She was really nice but was on me about not loosing the 10-15lbs they asked. Which I totally understood, loosing the weight shrinks the liver and makes the surgery safer!
So that brings me to my 1st day on protein shakes. I know I said I was going to do 2 a day and then a sensible meal, but today and tomorrow I am just going to do 3 protein shakes because I really have to work hard to loose 10lbs before the surgery and this weekend I am going away and it will be almost impossible for me to have my protein shakes while I am not at home.
But all in all today went really well, I know I have only 29 days left until surgery, but it still does not feel real to me. 4 weeks is going to fly I know this, but it feels like forever. So in the meantime I am just trying my best to ignore my hunger and focus on getting that 10lbs off so I can have a safe surgery!!!
Hey everyone! I wrote my first post just the other day, I'm not sure if you could tell but I was in a little bit of a "depressed" mood when I wrote it. However, I am happy to report that I am feeling much better today! I'm excited because tomorrow (5/21/09) I am going to the hospital first for Pre-Admissions, and then to the Pre-Op Center, I would guess for testing. I'm just about 4 weeks away from surgery now, and I am getting very excited!
I have yet to be told if I will be required to do a pre-op diet of any sort. Therefore, I have decided to do one all on my own! I bought some protein powder, so I plan to have 2 protein drinks/shakes a day and one sensible meal. I also bought, the Biggest Loser's protein to put in your water, which I plan to drink in between meals if I start craving food! I'm one of those people who makes plans to do this sort of thing and never sticks with it, so part of me posting it on here is the hope that I will stick to it because I have to update you all on how it is going! So please check up on me! I see my surgeon, Dr. Lelan Sillin, on May 26, 2009, I am going to ask him then if he has a particular diet he wants me to do pre-op......I'll let you know what he says!
Stop, close your eyes, and bring yourself to the time in your life when you were at your heaviest. For me, that is right now. I have weighed 250lbs for a few years now, and it is the most I have ever weighed. How does that time in your life make your feel? I don't think it matters what your highest weight has been, I think we all feel the same once we have reached that point.
I feel sad, tired, ugly, out of control, unworthy of anything, and disappointed in myself. I am filled with so many other emotions that I just cannot find words for.
I have chosen to have the lap band surgery. I want to begin a new life, one filled with happpiness. I know this is not a fix all, but it's a great jump start that I am blessed to be receiving. My surgery date is June 19, 2009.
t I ever remember being. I've never felt so good in my entire life. Somehow I slowly gained it all back and then I just added another 60lbs on top of that, hey why not. Ever since then I have never been able to get back into the weight loss mode.