Lots of Updates!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a few things to cover in this post first is I went for an unfill today. The .1cc I got on Thursday we too much and I could drink a little but any solid food was just not going through. I tried to stick it out a couple of days thinking that maybe my hormones were playing tricks on me and it would get better but it did not. I had 7.8cc's in my band before the fill and the doctor I saw today said that the whole 7.8 probably was not in my band, some of it was probably stuck in the tubing. He went on to say that when the nurse practitioner took everything out and then inserted it again with the addition .1cc more of that probably made it to the band this time so it felt like way more than just a .1cc adjustment. This makes perfect sense to me because I was really really perplexed that .1 would make me feel so darn restricted.  The forced me to remove a whole cc, I begged them not to but they really want to so bummer I am at 6.9cc's now and can eat whatever pretty much.

This brings me to another thing I was to talk about in this post. For the past 2 years and 4 months I have not worked on my nutrition very much. I have basically ate what I have wanted but in moderation. I am actually not super update about being at 6.9cc now because I can focus on eater better and healthier. I need to cut out the chocolate (I've been addicted) and I need to scale down on the amount of Starbucks drinks I am getting as those are my two major drugs of choice lol. I seem to always have a fill debacle don't I?

On a good note...... I have accomplished 2 things at once!!! 1) I have lost 102lbs!!!! 2) I am in the NORMAL WEIGHT CATEGORY!!! Can you flippin' believe it?????  I mean to loose 100lbs is like the equivalent to a 10 year old I think, insane! When I got the surgery I thought I would loose 100lbs much faster than I did now I am really thrilled that it took me longer because I have really enjoyed the journey and it made it so much more satisfying to loose it slowly. I have not been in the normal weight category for my height and age since I was probably 6 or 7 years old which I don't remember obviously.

I look in the mirror and I definitely do not see a skinny person, I am not sure that I ever will but I'm not upset with what I see either I really like the way I look. I'm not sure I will ever see myself as skinny but I do feel bones on myself that I have never felt before and see them as well which is really cool. In my brain I know this definitely makes me a "skinny" person I guess but I have such body dis morphia that I just can't say that about myself.  Maybe someday I will see it!Finally being able to say I have lost 100lbs makes me feel hopeful for the first time that I can actually reach my goal!!!